As part of Saturdays discussion (9/23) on Healing the Father Wound, we thought it important to explore our own personal definitions of Forgiveness.

This definition is possibly different from what our Heavenly Father tells us about forgiveness (which is liberating and full of Grace), and that's why we decided to drill down on this topic.

I know through the years with the issues I've had with my father, I have buried them and just 'manned up' and told myself they won't hold me back or slow me down;  upon looking back it would have benefitted me to face them head on, seek reconciliation, and to forgive.

Truth is, how do I forgive?  Is that the same as forgetting? That's what I used to think.  As the years progressed and some friends I have cared deeply about have been in an out of my life, I've thought I've forgiven them.  But, I have not sought reconciliation. Nor have I forgotten. If I were to see these old friends again, would the pain still be there?  To do reconcile to them I would be vulnerable again.

I think to forgive is to release 'it'. I know that I have not released it all for some of my past relationships (and present). When I've released the anxiety and feelings associated with the circumstances, and in understanding that individual is not going to change (nor is the forgiveness intended to do this) I feel that I have benefitted from this intentional exercise. I say out loud (to myself) that I forgive them.  Once it is released, I think about it less, and when I do, it no longer hurts.

Men, if you feel impelled to respond on this topic please do so. I realized while writing this that I've got some work to do. . .